I am sure many of you know about the Kevin Smith Smith Southwest Airlines incident. If you don't follow the link....
http://www.people.com/people/article/0,,20344142,00.html
I am not hating on Kevin. In fact I am a big fan. I have most of his movies. Minus Jersey Girl, not a fan of that one, but it is no Hobgoblins either! How ever when society goes high and to the right because of one incident it really chaps my ass. Because then you get things like the TSA "searches" and bullshit like this...
http://www.cnn.com/2011/11/25/travel/passenger-of-size/?hpt=hp_t2
So now that you have read what is burning my biscuits lets take this abortion one step at a time shall we?
Flight 901seats a passenger of size, seems we can't call them fat anymore, it is passenger of size, next to Arthur Berkowitz, 57. It seems the AARP says that 57 falls into the age range for him to be a senior citizen. So lets reword this as it should be. Flight 901 seats this grossly obese, fat fuck next to a senior citizen. This fat fuck not only sits in his seat but oozes into Mr. Berkowitz's to the extent that Mr. B is unable to buckle his seat belt or even sit in his seat. So Mr. B has to stand for 7 motherfucking hours on the Alaska to Philadelphia flight. Now I am glad to hear that this obese person had the courtesy to apologize. Mind you he couldn't decide to get off his ass and let this senior citizen sit instead. I guess that would be too much like exercise, which we know it fat ass Kryptonite!
Now the stewardesses and stewards (fuck "flight attendant" I will call you are what the fuck you are) would not let Mr. B sit in a jump seat because that is against the rules. As is not buckling your seat belt. However Mr. B could not buckle his seat belt OR sit in his seat because it was under a big fat ass! In fact Mr. B's only recourse was to wedge himself into his seat, next to this fat, sweaty, pastrami smelling lard ass during take off and landing....sans seat belt.
Now US Airways said..."We all understand how sensitive a subject passengers of size can present, but we should never compromise safety and we need every passenger to help us ensure that every flight operates safely by complying with those crew members' instructions." So let me get this straight. Mr. B is at fault because he didn't buckle his seat belt? Blow me! Where the fuck were the stewardesses when when they do the pre-flight walk around? WTF were they up to? I JUST flew and they had no problem checking that I was tucked in safe and sound....in fact most of them are more than a little surly about it. Frankly with all the dip-shits who are constantly fucking with their i-phones and ignoring the "turn off your cell phone or we are all going to die" speeches I would be bitchy too! So where was the balls then? Why didn't they get Mr. B an extender for his seat belt and make Shamu stand his fat ass up while Mr. B added the extender to his seat belt? I mean they made Mr. B squeeze in like a greased Turk why not go the distance and ensure his safety with a seat belt? Probably because they didn't want to hurt Tons of Funs feelings! I mean the world is mean enough without pointing out you are a grossly overweight turd right? ARRGGHH!!
So when Mr. B lands he goes and complains, who wouldn't?! You think I wouldn't be spastic at this point? Thorazine would be needed to keep me from going postal at that point! So what does USAir do? Tries to give him $200 bucks in hopes of shutting him the fuck up. Well Mr. B said no and good for him. How many times in your everyday life does someone dangle a pitifully small thing in front of you hoping you, as part of the near sighted majority, will take it and comply? Too fucking often!
The rest is pretty much bullshit. Mr. B is a dick because of this and that, blah, blah, blah. You know what then I am a dick too! Sure there are people out there with medical conditions who can't help how fat they are and shit like that but why the hell should the world bend over and kiss their ass? Just because they are handicapped or like stove top stuffing to much the world has to accommodate them? When I got my VA rating I found out I can get a handicapped parking sticker. No shit! I couldn't make this up if I tried. Now ask me if I have one? FUCK NO!! Why? Because I get around just fine. Sure I have a hitch in my get along some days but not like the guys who come back blown up while in some armpit of the world. Give them the good parking! Me and those welfare junkies do NOT deserve the blue parking! Just like this fat slob doesn't deserve an old mans seat. Apologize all you want pal but I will be damned if you get my seat and I am standing in the aisles. I will raise a stink that will require the airlines to fix that problem prior to take off!
Speaking of prior to take off, as Mr. B pointed out WTF was wrong with solving this problem at the counter before the flight? Probably because everything is automated now and you don't see a human being until you give them your bags. Frankly even if you did no one would want to say anything because the pussifcation of America is well underway. We can't hurt anybody's feelings because that is mean and we can't be mean to people especially handicapped people. Because fat is handicapped now. Fuck fat! I looked in the mirror on the cruise and went "holy fucking shit I am getting fat!" you know what I did? I went on a diet and started walking at lunch! You know what happened, I lost 10 lbs.
Still legally disabled too.
Thanks to Least I Could Do Online Comic!
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